Even when we give so little of ourselves to our lovers, just enough
to get by or get-off ourselves, they will still respond to what we give them. It’s essential for those trying to keep a romance alive and well to work as well as they can within the confines of that romance-and all romances have restrictions-even if one is with a lousy lay.

A stopped clock tells correct time at least twice a day. Even with the most boring bed partner-and the very fact that they are our bed partner means we found some common ground beyond a date-brings some sort of sex to the situation and most of us can extrapolate a sex life on this little interest, maybe not a great sex life but at least something to get us to the point of wanting to have sex over masturbating.

In some cases the old dog can be taught new tricks or the dog doesn’t even realize that the trick they know is old; or just not working. In other cases it is simply someone afraid to take the next step to intimacy that oral sex or revealing kinks might push them to. And of course there are just those people who have seen success with what they know and how they do it so often they don’t realize that their new lover might not get-off in the exact same way to the exact same stimuli.

What the incompatible or stifling lover needs to understand is that if they put their partner to sleep in bed-and not because of wild intense sex but because they bore them-their partner will at the very least search on-line for masturbatory material, at worse look for a new partner.

After a time the human animal either acclimates to a sexless or less-then-satisfying intimate life or lights out for greener pastures.

Communication is the key course, as sometimes our lovers simply do not know what they do wrong or what they do right. Far too many men are simply ignoring their women for video games or downloading porn-or both-as opposed to communicating their real needs or feelings, too many women are faking orgasms so their men are tricked into believing the sex they are providing is good.

After a time, the hardships of life quell our lusts and we simply fall into patterns where one lover is just inadequate or doesn’t care and another turns fitfully into a night masturbating and fantasizing.

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