There is just so much we can get our lovers to do if they don’t want to do it. Attraction, true love, a certain liberal attitude to sex, it doesn’t much matter really if one person simply does not want to dress in leather or take an enema.
As we don’t particularly want anyone questioning our specific fantasies we shouldn’t question someone’s resistance to them. For whatever reason we want that spanking, there are just as many perfectly good reasons-and some that can’t even be articulated-why our lover might not want to give us one. Fetishes especially are usually rooted deeply in childhood; the repulsion of them for some people might be rooted there as well.

We can pretty much lead our lover to what we want in bed, but if they don’t want to indulge us, we really only have two courses of action. Too many perfectly good relationships have ended over one partner pressuring another. The kink will not soon go away but our ache to have our significant lover comply needs to be submerged or dealt with outside the relationship or we run the risk of losing the relationship all together.

Luckily it is a wide world, replete with many kinks and fetishes, sex toys and preferences and a wide population of people who like them. Many a vanilla-couple find a play partner strictly enlisted to indulge the whims of the kinky member. It’s not an arrangement that most couples can entertain, but many a couple has drawn parameters for one partner to step outside the marital bed, indulge their kink with another person-and only their kink-and still come back to their significant other for intimate love-making and the romance.
But just as many couples have broken-up over this idea of looking elsewhere sexually.

While we all have to be respected in our needs and limits it is just as important for the non-kinky partner to remember that the kinky partner has a deep ache for these specific sexual peccadilloes. If they are not addressed they will fester, they will consume one’s libido and as much as one partner will fight, claw and refuse to indulge a kink the partner who has the kink will grow to want to indulge it at all costs.

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